{"product_id":"emotional-support-roast-esr","title":"EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ROAST (ESR)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause Green Weenie Survival Requires Caramel Treatment.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eLet’s be honest: your knees are shot, your lower back belongs in a museum, and that VA claim is still \"under review.\" You don’t need another lecture on mindfulness. You need a liquid combat lifesaver that actually tastes like a coping mechanism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eEnter the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"10\"\u003eEmotional Support Roast\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWe took a smooth, premium \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"26\"\u003emedium roast\u003c\/b\u003e and infused it with rich \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"64\"\u003ecaramel\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"76\"\u003evanilla cream\u003c\/b\u003e—creating a flavor profile smoother than a butter-bar lieutenant’s map-reading skills. It’s sweet enough to make you forget about that 0300 formation in the freezing rain, but strong enough to keep you awake through a mandatory online training brief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy This Coffee is Better Than Your Last Deployment:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Flavor:\u003c\/b\u003e Decadent caramel and velvety vanilla cream. It’s basically a hug in a mug, minus the awkward brief from HR.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Caffeine:\u003c\/b\u003e Optimized for high-intensity garage cleaning, aggressive driving, or staring blankly at your lawn at 0500.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Vibe:\u003c\/b\u003e Smells like a luxury coffee shop; acts like a tactical defense mechanism against stupid people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/b\u003e Drinking this may cause you to randomly mutter \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"11,0\" data-index-in-node=\"56\"\u003e\"Back in the sandbox...\"\u003c\/i\u003e or attempt to fix things around the house with 550 cord and 100-mph tape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOIF VET Coffee Company:\u003c\/b\u003e \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"24\"\u003eEmbrace the suck. Drink the bean!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"OIF Vet Coffee Compnay","offers":[{"title":"Ammo Can (12 K Cups)","offer_id":53446925287703,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0989\/6198\/1719\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_id6s6sid6s6sid6s.png?v=1779977606","url":"https:\/\/oifvetcoffee.com\/products\/emotional-support-roast-esr","provider":"OIF Vet Coffee Compnay","version":"1.0","type":"link"}