{"product_id":"master-blaster-macchiato-the-wake-the-f-ck-up-blend","title":"Master Blaster Macchiato: The \"Wake the F*ck Up\" Blend","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMASTER BLASTER MACCHIATO\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaximum Pressure. Zero Misfires.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"container\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown markdown-main-panel tutor-markdown-rendering enable-updated-hr-color\" id=\"model-response-message-contentr_cae26d09d2efa6e6\" aria-live=\"polite\" aria-busy=\"false\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eListen up, sunshine. We know you miss the smell of C4 in the morning, but your HOA frowns upon \"controlled detonations\" before 0700. Since you can’t exactly breach your kitchen door with a kick and a flashbang anymore, we brought the boom to your mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThe \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"4\"\u003eMaster Blaster Macchiato\u003c\/b\u003e is our OIF-inspired Breakfast Blend designed for those who prefer their mornings high-yield and their stress levels low. We’ve taken a smooth, high-altitude roast and infused it with just enough \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"224\"\u003ecaramel macchiato\u003c\/b\u003e sweetness to remind you of that one \"fancy\" coffee shop in the Green Zone—except this one won't give you the shakes during a secondary sweep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eIt’s light enough to drink while you’re staring blankly at your civilian neighbor’s overgrown lawn, but bold enough to ensure you don't fall back asleep at your desk like a Private on fire watch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Specs:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoast Profile:\u003c\/b\u003e Light\/Medium (The \"Initial Inspection\" Roast)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eNotes:\u003c\/b\u003e Toasted Caramel, Vanilla, and the satisfaction of a successful EOD report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEffect:\u003c\/b\u003e Increases your situational awareness by 400%.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/b\u003e Drinking this may result in a sudden urge to cut the red wire. (Don't do that. It’s the toaster cord.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\"If you see us running, try to keep up. But if you see us drinking this, pull up a chair. It’s gonna be a smooth day.\"\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"OIF Vet Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"12 Ounce","offer_id":52803757244695,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"1 Pound","offer_id":52803757277463,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ammo Can (12 K Cups)","offer_id":52803757310231,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0989\/6198\/1719\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_7p93kj7p93kj7p93.png?v=1776354377","url":"https:\/\/oifvetcoffee.com\/products\/master-blaster-macchiato-the-wake-the-f-ck-up-blend","provider":"OIF Vet Coffee Compnay","version":"1.0","type":"link"}