{"product_id":"the-velvet-medic-ammo-can-12-k-cups","title":"THE VELVET MEDIC AMMO CAN (12 K CUPS)","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"11\"\u003eSugar-Coated Sanity in a Box\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduct Description\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eListen up, buttercup. We know your palate usually prefers the taste of CLP and dirt, but even the saltiest E-4 Mafia member needs a \"tactical pause\" from the charcoal-water we call black coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Velvet Medic\u003c\/b\u003e is our Sweet French Vanilla Cappuccino—the only thing in your life smoother than a slide-point-rule during a Sergeant Major’s inspection. It’s creamy, it’s sweet, and it’s arguably the most \"non-combat\" thing we’ve ever produced, but damn if it doesn’t hit the spot when you’re tired of embracing the suck. It’s like a hug from a civilian who actually respects your service, or finally getting that VA claim approved on the first try.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Packaging\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eThis isn’t just a box; it’s a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"30\"\u003e12-Count Ammo Can\u003c\/b\u003e. Because even if the contents are \"Vanilla,\" the delivery system should still look like it can handle a breach. Toss it in your ruck, keep it on your desk, or hide it from your Team Lead who thinks \"creamer\" is a sign of weakness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWarning Label (Back of Box)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eCAUTION:\u003c\/b\u003e Consuming this product may lead to sudden bouts of \"Mandatory Fun,\" a temporary loss of your thousand-yard stare, and the inexplicable urge to be nice to people. If you find yourself smiling for more than four hours, please consult a Chaplain or go stand in the rain until your bitterness returns. Do not use as a substitute for actual medical care, though it tastes better than any Motrin we’ve ever been issued.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e","brand":"OIF Vet Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52610802417943,"sku":null,"price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0989\/6198\/1719\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_3nstsc3nstsc3nst.png?v=1775125060","url":"https:\/\/oifvetcoffee.com\/products\/the-velvet-medic-ammo-can-12-k-cups","provider":"OIF Vet Coffee Compnay","version":"1.0","type":"link"}