ROAST LEVEL: Medium (Because going "Full Dark" is for the night shift on the flight line). FLAVOR PROFILE: Buttery Caramel, Velvety Vanilla, and the bittersweet taste of a 15-month extension.
PRODUCT DESCRIPTION:
Let’s be honest—sometimes your soul needs a little more than "Black, Bitter, and Sad." Whether you’re trying to survive a three-hour HR presentation on "Inclusion" or just trying to wash out the taste of a cold MRE heater, the Dependapotamus Delight is your tactical extraction from reality.
We’ve combined the smooth, rich flavors of Caramel and Vanilla to create a drink so sweet it’ll make you forget you ever had a 0400 formation in the rain. It’s the kind of coffee that says, "I have a DD-214 and I'm not afraid to use it."
OPERATIONAL NOTES:
FOR THE SQUAD: Perfect for that one guy in the unit who only drinks "Fancy Coffee" but can still out-ruck the entire platoon.
TASTE OF HOME: Tastes like the first thing you bought at the Green Bean on the way out of theater.
CAUTION: Drinking this may cause you to voluntarily smile at a civilian. If this occurs, immediately seek out a heavy object to lift or a reflective vest to stare at until the feeling passes.
